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Gender Bias We'd Like to See

It's about time we get some gender bias in federal law. Here is my proposed letter to Sen. Pantwell:Dear Senator Pantwell:

Since you are on the cutting edge of gender issues in our society today, being an enthusiastic supporter of VAWA, the Violence Against Women Act, which was based on the theory that the vast majority of victims of domestic violence are women, it is requested that you sponsor some other much-needed gender-based federal laws.  Here are a few suggestions:

VAMW:  Violence Against Men in the Workplace.  Since 95 per cent of workplace mortality is suffered by men, a federal law addressing men's disproportionate victimization is way overdue.

MSPA:  Male Suicide Prevention Act:  Since the vast majority of suicide victims are male, we need federal monies earmarked exclusively for males who may potentially become victims of suicide.

FCAA:  Father Custody Assistance Act:  Since men are robbed of custody of their children in divorce cases at alarmingly high rates, the Federal Government needs to withhold welfare monies to any states that have less than 50 per cent of custody awards going to men.

EISKA:  Equity in Spider-Killing Act:  Everyone knows that men are overwhelmingly saddled with the unpleasant task of spider-killing by their wives and girlfriends. This federal law would earmark funds for males to train and assist females in spider-killing and carcass disposal, in full compliance, of course, with EPA regulations.

VMAREA:  Vehicle Maintenance and Repair Equality Act.  How many times have you ever seen a woman changing a tire or checking the oil in a car while the man sits inside listening to the CD player?  This law would mandate vehicle repair classes for women before they are granted driver's licenses, and provide additional funds to state police to enforce the requirement that women get out of the car and get their clothes wet and greasy just as many times as men.

These are only a few examples of the many areas of gender bias and gender discrimination in our society that the Federal Government urgently needs to address.  We will expect your enthusiastic support for these proposals. 

Lisa Scott

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