Real Family Law

Real Articles Real Forms Real Rules Real Laws
Real Advice Real Tactics Real Law Practice Real Marketplace Real Treatment


Before you can "graduate" from domestic violence perpetrator treatment, you must write an "accountability letter" admitting the abuse you perpetrated on your victim(s). This is basically a forced confession to all manner of crimes your wife believes you committed against her, from the merely annoying to the truly depraved. Domestic violence perpetrator treatment isn't about being an abuser, it's about being male. If you're a man, you're an abuser.

But, you say, what if I've never hit, pushed, shoved, slapped or kicked my wife, or hurt her in any way? I'm not an abuser, you say. How wrong you are. Have you not ever yelled at your wife, thrown the remote control, hit a wall or slammed a door in frustration? Of course you have. And herein is the key to your successful accountability letter and your exit from DV perp.

If you threw the remote control, say "I purposely instilled fear and intimidation in my partner by forcefully thrusting an electronic projectile mere yards from her head."

If you hit a wall with your fist, say "In order to assert my male privilege and inherent right to dominate and control, I mistook a piece of innocent drywall for my wife's face and violently pummeled it right in front of her. Despite crying out in pain and falling to my knees bleeding, my actions caused extreme fear in my wife (after she stopped laughing anyway)."

If you kicked your car and caused a small dent, say "While practicing kick-boxing to better keep my wife in her place, I failed to see the large vehicle sneak up and crouch in front of me. No man has the right to break his toe to make himself feel superior."

There's more: "As a member of the privileged gender in this patriarchal society, I believed I had the inherent right to eat the last piece of cheesecake in the refrigerator, which, needless to say, serves as conclusive evidence of my evil and abusive nature."

If the above doesn't fit your situation, try this Do-It-Yourself Accountability Letter you can customize for your own case:

I had no right to confront you about your torrid affair with the:

  • [ ] Milkman
  • [ ] Plumber
  • [ ] Rodent Exterminator
  • [ ] Meter Reader
  • [ ] Mailman
  • [ ] Census Taker
  • [ ] Avon Lady
  • [ ] Garden Gnome
  • [ ] All of the Above

My crimes include:

  • [ ] Breathing
  • [ ] Thinking
  • [ ] Resisting Wife's Absolute Authority
  • [ ] Not Leaving Town Without a Trace
  • [ ] All of the Above

A physical response by a man is justified:

  • [ ] When a woman scratches him
  • [ ] When a woman bites him
  • [ ] When a woman slaps him
  • [ ] When a woman knees him in the groin
  • [ ] When a woman shoots him
  • [ ] None of the above

In DV perp class I learned:

  • [ ] Men are scum
  • [ ] Women are superior beings
  • [ ] Both

From here on, I will never:

  • [ ] Contradict or defy a woman
  • [ ] Make the mistake of thinking the family court system is about truth, justice or fairness
  • [ ] Believe I deserve to live
  • [ ] All of the above

Disclaimer   |   Privacy Policy
Copyright © 2006-2011 Lisa Scott. All Rights Reserved.