Tutorial for Men on Effective Use of DV
asserting domestic violence claims against women
is not an effective tactic for men.
Everyone knows that men can't possibly be
victims of domestic violence.
If he claims he is a victim, he's lying.
If he has injuries, he got them from the woman
defending herself against his abuse.
If he's dead, she was a Battered Woman who
killed him in self-defense (even with 52 stab
wounds in the back).
If you are a man who thinks he is a victim of
domestic violence, call the local domestic
violence hotline, and tell them what has
happened to you. The conversation should go
something like this:
HOTLINE: Domestic violence hotline, can I help
MAN: Um, I think I might need some help.
HOTLINE: What kind of help?
MAN: Well, my wife gets really angry and screams
at me, and sometimes she hits me.
HOTLINE: Do you have any proof of that?
MAN: Well, no, she does it when no one else is
around. She also threatens me that if I ever
tell anyone, she'll take our son and leave, and
tell the police I've been beating her up and
sexually abusing him.
HOTLINE: What did you do to make her so angry at
MAN: Nothing. She's constantly critical of
everything I do. She's extremely jealous,
calling me all day checking up on me. She
accuses me of having an affair whenever I even
talk to some other woman. And she won't let me
spend hardly any time with our son. She says I'm
not good enough taking care of him.
HOTLINE: You must have done something to make
her mad enough to hit you, that is, if she
really did hit you.
MAN: The last time it happened I told her I
wanted a divorce, and I wanted to have equal
custody of our son. She screamed and swore at
me, pushed me against the kitchen counter then
started pounding on my chest.
HOTLINE: Well it didn't hurt you or anything.
MAN: I don't know, I was just trying to get
HOTLINE: Did you grab her or push her away?
MAN: I yelled at her to stop it. She got madder
and madder, and just kept hitting me. Finally I
grabbed her arms to get her to stop, pushed her
back and ran out of the room.
HOTLINE: So you did assault her. Did she call
MAN: No, she ran after me, grabbed my arm and
hit me in the face with a meat tenderizer. I
have a big red bumpy square mark on my right
cheek. I told the guys at work I ran into a
heating coil while I was working on the furnace.
HOTLINE: Well, we can definitely help you.
Number one, don't report any of this to the
police. It will only inflame your wife and
escalate the situation. Two, you need to move
out, so your wife can have some personal space
without you around. Obviously, your presence
makes her angry and she can't be a good mother
when you're creating such a hostile environment.
Three, you need to go to counseling to control
your inappropriate behavior. Violence against
women is always wrong, and you have no right to
touch her ever, for any reason. We have several
batterers' programs in this area that will know
just how to deal with your controlling, abusive,
violent nature. Men like you are always in
denial, always blaming the woman for your
actions. You need to be held accountable for
your abuse of her. I just hope that you have not
permanently damaged your son by demonstrating
that violence is how to get your way.
MAN: Batterers' treatment? I've never battered
her. She's the one who batters me.
HOTLINE: Don't get uppity with me, buster. Guys
like you get their way through brute force and
intimidation. I'm not going to let you abuse me
too. Now take down this number and get yourself
into treatment before you hurt or kill more
innocent women and children. 206-555-6666. Ask
for the intake counselor and have your VISA or
MAN: OK, but shouldn't she go to some kind of
HOTLINE: Of course, we have battered women's
victim counseling, support groups, free housing,
legal help, interior design services, discount
car insurance, and dart boards with their
husband's pictures on them available for our
women clients here at the coven, er, shelter.
MAN: OK, thanks for the help, I guess.
HOTLINE: Thanks for calling the Domestic
Violence Hotline. [Click].
Content for this page has been provided by your
friendly local taxpayer-funded domestic violence
advocates. More funding is always needed to help
innocent abused women. Contact your state and
federal lawmakers and demand increased
appropriations for these programs.
Violence Against Women: When Billions is Not
Copyright © 2006-2011 Lisa Scott. All Rights Reserved.